I am not a fan of Oct. 10. For most folks, it is just another day almost midway through the month. Every year, I try to approach the tenth of October in that vein. 

Just another day? I’m not quite there. And even though I try, I most likely never will be. 

For me, Oct. 10th will forever be a day that represents the very worst of humanity. 

Thirteen years ago, Oct. 10, 2011, was typical. It was Columbus Day, a holiday celebrated by banks and the government. But for most, it was just another busy Monday. People went to work, ate lunch, went shopping, planned supper, etc. It was average, normal, and customary. 

Until it wasn’t. At least for me and my family. 

Oct. 10, 2011, was the day evil personified busted in through a door of our home carrying a gun and a small hatchet. When it was over, three people were dead—my first wife, a son, and the perpetrator who had gone home and killed himself.  

That day began a significant time when I doubted God’s love and concern. I was probably the most angry and hurt person you could ever meet. I know for sure I was not pleasant to be around. My poor kids not only lost their mother and a brother, but they were also stuck with a dad who didn’t have any idea how to cope. 

The traumas we endured as a family still resonate in some fashion all these years later. However, when I look back at those days, I’m incredibly grateful to be where I am now. 

I married again, returned to ministry, and pursued my passion for writing—friends and family surround me. During those dark days in the aftermath, I could have never imagined life being beautiful again. I wasn’t even sure I wanted to live. 

But here I am. I am still standing. And while life isn’t perfect (whose life is?), there is much to be thankful for, including dreams to be dreamed of, aspirations to aspire to, and joy to pursue. 

Having lived through such a profound, dark tragedy, what advice might I give? I’m so glad you asked. Life can indeed be challenging, but beauty surrounds us, too. Long before the difficult days occur, revel in the radiance of life. Love your family. Never miss an opportunity to express your affection and appreciation. Hold on to what matters. And when life’s heartaches arise, remember who gifted you the blessings of life. Never let go of God even when you don’t understand why you suffer and hurt. Don’t push away the people who love you most. Finally, never give up your hope that life can be beautiful again. 

If you need a concrete example, look at me. I’m the picture-perfect definition of life restored after destruction. If I can survive and thrive, you can too!

“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.” (Ecclesiastes‬ 3‬:11‬ NIV‬‬)

Les Ferguson Jr. grew up in Vicksburg and is a 1980 graduate of Warren Central High School. He holds a B.A. in Bible from Magnolia Bible College and an M.A. in New Testament Preaching from Johnson University. He lives and ministers in Oxford, Miss., and is the author of “Still Wrestling—Faith Renewed through Brokenness.” He can be reached at lfergusonjr@gmail.com.