[05/20/02]By the middle of last season, Shirley Agostinelli knew.

She had returned for another year coaching soccer at St. Aloysius, prodded and cajoled by her players, but the game just wasn’t as easy as it used to be and the years were quickly slipping away.

Still, she couldn’t bring herself to admit that it was time to retire. She had dropped hints that the 2002 season was her last, but told only her husband and the school principal for sure. Even on the drive to St. Al’s awards banquet on Sunday, Agostinelli begged her husband Victor not to tell anyone she had finally made the toughest decision of her life.

As it turns out, Victor Agostinelli didn’t have to spill the beans. Almost everyone else figured the news was coming, too.

St. Al principal Alan Powers told the audience of Agostinelli’s decision Sunday night while reading a complimentary letter from a St. Al soccer parent.

“I didn’t mean to let the secret out,” Powers said. “I knew this would be her last banquet and this was the last time we had an opportunity to say thank you’ to her.”

Agostinelli then took the podium and broke down in tears as she confirmed the announcement.

“This was like my baby that I have raised,” the 61-year-old Agostinelli told the crowd of about 300 people. “I’ll still be there, you know that. I will be the loudest one in the stands and will be there for you. You will get that state championship.”

By the time she had finished, the roar of the crowd drowned out her sobs as everyone in the St. Al gym rose to their feet and gave her a standing ovation.

“I made a fool of myself,” Agostinelli said with a laugh after the banquet. “I promised myself I wasn’t going to cry and I almost made it.”

Agostinelli has been involved with the Vicksburg Soccer Organization and St. Al’s soccer program as a parent or coach for more than a quarter of a century.

As her own sons rose to the high school level in the late 1980s, she was a driving force behind the founding of St. Al’s program in 1990. She took over as coach in 1991, and has served in that position ever since.

Along the way, the Flashes had their share of good times and bad. Playoff appearances in the mid-90s were followed up by poor seasons as a slew of seniors graduated.

As younger players grew and matured, she guided the Flashes back to prominence on the state level. St. Al posted a 30-5-1 record over the last two seasons, finishing as the Class 1A-2A-3A South State runnerup in 2001 and as North State runnerup in 2002.

“I agree wholeheartedly with her decision,” said St. Al athletic director Joe Graves, who added that there was no timetable yet for choosing a new coach. “She goes out with a great season and a great group of guys, and whoever comes in next season is going to have another great group of guys and a chance to win a state championship.”

The winning took its toll on Agostinelli, however. The pressure began to mount, and she began to question some of her own decisions during games. By the middle of this season, she decided it was too much.

The energetic Agostinelli, who often nervously paces the sideline as time winds down in any game, had begun mentally pacing down her remaining time as coach.

“I felt like maybe I wasn’t giving the guys what they needed as a coach,” Agostinelli said. “It wasn’t that we had a bad rapport … I think professionally, they wanted more than I could give them. They needed somebody better than I was, and I felt like they deserved it.”

Agostinelli had hinted at retirement after a 3-1 loss to Mercy Cross in the 2001 South State title game, and continued to joke about it throughout this season.

“If I got on them too bad, I would say little things like you won’t have to put up with me much longer,'” she said with a laugh.

Still, the sudden finality of the announcement took some of St. Al’s players by surprise. After she said goodbye to her seniors, the rest of her players had to turn around and say goodbye to her.

“It’s a shock. We don’t want her to leave. She’s taken us a long way,” St. Al junior sweeper Michael Engle said. “She made us happy. She made us want to play. We were all close.”

A family atmosphere hovered over most of St. Al’s teams during Agostinelli’s tenure, with her as the soccer mom.

Now she’ll get to spend some time with her other family, the one related by thicker blood than that spilled on the soccer field.

“I don’t want to say I’m getting old, but it was a toll on me physically. And I wanted time to go visit my grandchildren,” Agostinelli said.

Agostinelli added that she plans to teach at St. Francis Elementary school for a few more years before retiring. She didn’t completely rule out a return to coaching she said she’ll “never let the soccer program die” but would certainly be happiest standing a few feet behind the St. Al bench, barking encouragement and nervously pacing the metal bleachers at Farrell Stadium instead of the cold dirt and mud of Balzli Field.

After all, she’d hate to have to go through all of this twice.

“It’s been a good ride. I’ve loved every minute of it. You get very attached when you spend as much time with this as I have,” Agostinelli said, apologizing as her eyes welled up with tears again. “This was a very difficult decision on my part. Every time I think about it, I cry … It’s like losing something very dear to your heart.”