February 15, 2007

The picture of the English Springer Spaniel sitting at a table in Sardi’s restaurant in Manhattan immediately catches the eye .

In the photo, the winner of Best in Show at the 151st Westminster Dog Show is getting a head massage, having pictures taken and seems to be waiting on the stuffed flounder.

Good-looking dog, probably bathed in exotic oils from the Far East.

So I look at Diamond Jim, the champ, and am saddened to know that he will not be competing again next year. After more than 50 best-in-shows, Diamond Jim is out, leaving field for next year’s Westminster crown wide open.

Now, I think, is the time officially to nominate an overweight gunshot victim who waddles when she walks – a People’s Champion if there ever was one.

Caliber is almost 4 years old. Her back end swivels, much like her Papa’s. One bullet is still lodged in her right shoulder. She still limps from another gunshot. The third, a flesh wound to the shoulder, shows little effect.

Her talents include shredding the cover off of a baseball, eating window blinds and beating the claim by the maker of a chew toy that its product will last forever. (Caliber tore it apart is a matter of minutes.)

Her breed is exclusive, one-of-a-kind. As the vet in Vicksburg told me when I asked about her her ancestry, &#8220There is no one more dominant breed than the other.” We figure she is part hound, lab, beagle, shepherd, some Choctaw and a little Irish. She sounds like a horse running, has claws like a bear and has been confused with a whitetail deer (hence never letting outdoors writer Fred Messina see her while he is armed.)

She has style. No one can roll in a a mudhole like she can. She sits in the car like a calm passenger, falls down when trying to shake hands and is prone to wailing.

At 95 pounds, she could hold her own in the behind-the-scenes press conferences. While other dogs would be prepping with soaps, oils and hair dryers, Caliber would be searching out the buffet table (much like her papa).

It’s in the personality and interview portion of a contest that she would be strongest. Her platform would be solving world hunger. She doesn’t care for loud bangs (gunshots, remember?) and has been known to get into the adult beverages.

But what makes Caliber a shoo-in for a Best-in-Show is that she is real. She’s overcome quite a bit in her life, like most real people. She wasn’t born to privilege, fed tofu sundaes from crystal bowls, and the closest she has ever come to a facial is getting thrust underwater during her oh-so-happy bath times.

She represents those of us not in privilege, who waddle when we walk and fall down while trying to sit. She sleeps a lot and snores even more. While Diamond Jim enjoys Sardi’s, Caliber will munch at Hardee’s.

There is only one Peoples’ Champion – her name is Caliber, a thrice-shot pure-bred mutt with a shimmy in her walk and a penchant to chew baseballs.

How can she be beaten?