In a couple of weeks, I’ll be a man. I’ll be 40. Which means I’m getting old and grumpy. With that in mind, here are a few football-related things that really grind my gears:

• Timeouts after a timeout.

The NFL and college have been doing this for years, where they’ll take a TV timeout after a touchdown and then another after the kickoff. Now it’s trickling down to high school football.

Until the end of September, there is a mandatory water break at the six-minute mark of every quarter. Sometimes there is a change of possession just on the plus side of that, and yet the officials wait until after a play has been run to blow the whistle again and take the water break.

C’mon, guys. Let’s combine the two and get out of here some time tonight.

• “Fall” practice for football.

I have no problem with the execution of this, just the name. Around here, it begins in July and the season begins in August or early September. The entire thing begins and ends in the summer. By the time fall actually begins, we’re a month deep into the season.

It’s “preseason” practice, not “fall” practice.

• The clueless guy in the live fantasy football draft who doesn’t pay attention.

It’s one thing to try and draft a No. 3 receiver in the 12th round and find out someone already took him. There’s always the guy, though, who tries to take Adrian Peterson in the seventh round, usually with a sly grin while saying, “I can’t believe this guy is still out there…”

You know who you are, fella. Stop it.

• High school bands that play at inappropriate times.

I appreciate the band, and the fact they work hard. Just please try to time your big horn crescendos so that they don’t occur while your team is on offense trying to score a critical touchdown. I, and your offensive coordinator, will thank you.

• Non-West Coast football games that start after 8 p.m.

Who ever thought this was a good idea? Sports at off-peak hours — late at night, in the middle of the day — are awesome. It’s like finding a $20 bill in your pocket. But college games that start at 8:30 p.m. are just awful. Those are four-hour ordeals these days, and it’s getting harder and harder to stay up to watch them as I get older.

Now get off my lawn, you crazy kids.

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Ernest Bowker is a sports writer for The Vicksburg Post. He can be reached at ernest.bowker@vicksburgpost.com