After a week spent watching the winter Olympics almost constantly, I have determined it is time for a career change as I chart my path toward 2022.

The first step is picking my perfect sport. Now the most snow I have ever experienced is the two snowfalls we have received in Vicksburg so far this year so admittedly I am at a slight disadvantage.

To start, there is no way I am jumping on a sled and hurtling face first down an icy slide, so lets go ahead and cross out skeleton. Figure skating and hockey are also very quickly out as I just am not cut out for those and I missed my window by about 22 years for starting them.

Although it is probably my favorite winter sport, the snowboard half pipe is also out as is ski jumping. I need something much more level to the ground and considerably less death defying. For the same reason, we can get rid alpine skiing (have you seen what happens when they crash?), every other snow board event and freestyle skiing.

Biathlon (half skiing, half sharpshooting) is also out as I have shot a gun a grand total of two times in my life and they have both occurred in the last two months.

So we are down to a few top contenders: bobsled, luge, curling, cross country skiing and speed skating.

The easy choice here is curling. After watching a lot of it over the last week, those people look like my kind of folks. Their fitness level is much closer to couch potatoes than Hercules as am I. But, I know from experience that I am not very good at shuffleboard and also why go with the obvious choice. So curling is going to be the official Plan B option.

As fun as they are to watch, luge and bobsled seem a little too daredevilish for me, especially the luge (and don’t even get me started on doubles luge). I think bobsled will be my Plan C though. I may not have the athletic ability of Hershel Walker, but if John Candy can get a Jamaican team ready for the Olympics I have a shot too.

And then there were two: cross country skiing and speed skating. I think I am more cut out for long track speed skating than short track to be clear. Speed skating would be my choice expect for the fact you need an ice rink to practice and we clearly don’t have one of those.

So the option must be cross-country skiing. It can be practiced without snow with the training method known as roller skiing and the military park seems like a great place to practice, which solve my issue of not living in the snowy tundra.

So now that I have my sport it is time to start training. I’ll see you in Beijing.

P.S. Anybody know how to roller ski?

Brandon O’Connor is a staff writer for The Vicksburg Post. You may reach him at brandon.oconnor@vicksburgpost.com.