This past Thanksgiving and Christmas have been strange. I am a big fan of both holidays, and I thoroughly enjoy spending time with my family, sharing food, telling stories and laughing. Inside this guy lives a little boy who still gets excited about Christmas, too.

In my house, we have a rule: if you quit believing in Santa Claus, you get clothes for Christmas. I don’t get clothes for Christmas—ever. However, if we were closer to the next Christmas, I’d be tempted to share my sizes—not clothing, but ammo.

You’ve probably heard the adage, “The only difference between a man and a boy is the price of his toys.” That’s me.

I love Christmas. Our house is far enough off the road that nobody can easily see our Christmas lights. Who puts up Christmas lights every year anyway? Yes, that’s me again. How Christmas obsessive am I? I like to go outside at night and enjoy them on my own.

But this year was challenging. My mom passed away the day after New Year’s 2024. We just observed the first anniversary of her death. So, this past Thanksgiving and Christmas were the first major holidays in my short 62 years of life without Mom.

My family had plenty to celebrate. We are still incredibly blessed. Like always, there was food, family, and laughter. But the holidays just felt different this time. The matriarch was missing, and there was a conspicuously empty seat at the table. We were all conscious of the huge difference from the previous years.

It was one thing to experience my grief. It was quite another to watch my dad navigate what was for him his first Christmas without Mom in 63 years. There is much living in 63 years—more memories than you can comprehend. I did the math: I’d have to stay married and live to 125 to experience that many memories.

It is sometimes said, and something I’ve experienced, that losing a spouse is like losing a leg. You must learn how to walk and live again.

Nobody ever said life wouldn’t be challenging. If you are reading this, I expect you have your own set of challenges, difficulties, and experiences. If I could impart one thing learned from losing a spouse, a child, and a mom, it would be that God is always faithful—always, even when it doesn’t feel that way in the moment.

“The Lord is a shelter for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble. Those who know your name trust in you, for you, O Lord, do not abandon those who search for you.” (Psalms‬ 9‬:9‬-10‬ NLT‬‬)

Blessings to you and yours!

Les Ferguson Jr. grew up in Vicksburg and is a 1980 graduate of Warren Central High School. He holds a B.A. in Bible from Magnolia Bible College and an M.A. in New Testament Preaching from Johnson University. He lives and ministers in Oxford, Mississippi and is the author of “Still Wrestling—Faith Renewed through Brokenness.” He can be reached at lfergusonjr@gmail.com.